Hello, my name is Elton Peck. I’ve a been servin’ and a processing legal papers round these parts for the last 50 years or so. I’ve also the only magistrate, legal counsel, notary, dog catcher, and International Harvester dealer within a days walk from up here in Bed Bug Holler, Pennsyltucky. I have to admit I’ve seen my share of heartbreakers and a home wreckers roll on up the ‘pike. Most  I can’st talk about (out of professional courtesy) but some’s I can. But there  sure is one thing we don’t do up here in the hills is repeat gossip. So you better be sure to listen up close the first time.

Ol’ Widow Biesecker owned an old dirt farm up  on Turkey Woods Road  ‘bout three miles outside of town up near Keene’s chicken farm. The widow Biesecker also had a full sized poodle named Brandy. Now Brandy was not just your run of the mill poodle. Bein’ that she was fixed and full sized,  Brandy stood nearly 12 hands (that’s about  four feet)  tall and could  run like a deer.

Now one hot day in July Brandy must have been bored out of her skull ‘cause for some reason she went on a tear right through the henhouse. She chased out only about three chickens and caught only one. But just her presence in the coop killed seventy other birds! The Vet said that they must of all died of heart attacks ‘cause chickens aint very stable to begin with!